A Prayer for A Porn Lover
Assuming Innocence*
“While you do not watch fornication, filling your heart with the badness of sin's way, you know when each sheep is faltering. I want to be your sheep. You turn your back to my badness just as you did to Israel waiting for us to return to you asking for help to do your righteous way.”
“When we ask, you give generously and without reproach to all those asking with faith that you are and that you are seeking those whose heart is complete toward you. I have faltered many times in my life. I have also lacked direction to the right way to act. Masturbation and pornography are condoned allowances or even righteous substitutes false religions' shepherds joke about. When was I told different? Now, with Dog Paddle. Beating off Pornography condemns the act as fornication. This habit that brings me much release, I am told, is abhorrent to you.”
“It has never occurred to me, nor many others, that my genitals exist to give pleasure to my marriage mate, and are to be in neutral when not married. I am alone. I imagine I hurt no one with this pornography practice. It does not occur to me that with serving you I would be restored as an individual able to give pleasure to a mate that you would help me find.”
“So few major decisions in my life do I come to you for. I give thanks for some meals. I say a daily prayer asking for your forgiveness of my sins. But building a relationship with you to build an eternal future for myself, I never knew that was an option. I need to be a better person at bridling my sexual needs and shielding myself from the things you hate such as fornication.”
“Right now, I am __ years of age. I have __ sexual partners I am juggling. I feel that to be satisfied I need to indulge in sexual relations with the TV/internet and myself or with another __ times a _ (day, week, month -- use your honest period of frequency here.) I do not feel giving up who I am is justified, to know you. After all, I am no different than my peers. Some of them are worse than me and are cheating on their mate.”
“It's time to test this theory that it matters to you about my sexual habits. I want to know for a certainty that if I give up my habits you will care enough about my seeking you out by cleaning up my life that I will indeed be rewarded.”
“I don't like being alone, but the available pool of partners is despicable. Others my age that are single have indulged in acts of moral turpitude so low that I have no potential companions. Your prophets had spouses. Well, Ezekiel lost his and Hosea had a wife who was the daughter of a whore and they still had the reward of a relationship with you. Giving up fornication on my part will require my constant supplication of you. Please don't throw me away and abandon me in my efforts. I will falter but I want my heart to be complete toward you.”
“My desire is to be one you love and remember. I don't want to be counted as a person resurrected to judgment. I want life. More than that I want a life that you are happy to count as living for you. My effort cannot be hypocritical. I cannot imagine finding sexual companionship in a spouse. Have you any idea how much neglect happens in a marriage, and I am being cut off, with no porn, from what gives me release if my marriage partner (hypothetical) rejects me.”
“I think it is fair that my work in serving you should lead to having a good marriage partner that delivers sexual fulfilment, if that is the only way I can get sex. We enjoy one another. Better than that, we revel in one another. We are triumphant in our enjoyment of our sexual relationship. I want to have the pleasure of using my body for the pleasure of one who would love me until death do us part.”
“My petition is bold. I have a life of serial masturbation. It was a good substitute, right? What I learned from Beating off Pornography, I don't like. I don't want to give up what I deemed harmless. I am willing to test this information. Please if you want me to relinquish this habit give me a 24-hour relief from the craving to satisfy my body and heart with this habit. This is one day and one step in the process and one effort on my part. In "Jesus' name" I submit this prayer, Amen.”