Stop Trying Before You Buy
“God of Jesus please be merciful in judging me. I am a product of immorality. There is so little structure or guidance that means a shit. Do you realize that I have never met anyone who practiced abstinence unless it was to punish her husband. And then she was willing to farm herself out to others. Do you realize how aggressive women are in grabbing for a penis? Any penis. It does not seem to matter who is attached to that member. They are looking for any ride they can get that helps them cut the cost of living and buy them some shit.”
“It's even tough to find a good roommate. Everyone is using sex for leverage. And it feels good! That orgasm is what I live for, just about. I mean it's better than; winning at poker, taking victory in sports, booze, drugs (mostly), and __ (place your list of what and orgasm beats here). I do not want to give that up. It seems unfair. I mean if someone is still a virgin, then great they don't know what they are missing.”
“Going on a couple of dates and not getting something out of the gal I'm out with seems unfair. I mean, I pay for everything, just about. How am I supposed to feel like it was worth my time if I don't screw her? Or at least get a blow job? Well, it's not as if I wouldn't go for more. But I am trying to understand why me and my friends have this death sentence because we are doing what comes naturally. It isn't even hurting anyone, really. I mean we use condoms. I need to understand before I can begin to ask to stop "fornicating." And how am I supposed to replace that feel good feeling of an orgasm? Please in "Jesus name," help me.”
“Who do you think gave you that male member of pleasure and that fabulous release of an orgasm in the first place? I engineered that apparatus, and hooked it to the pleasure centre of your brain, for a reason. That reason was so that you would be hooked on delivering pleasure to your mate. My intention was for everyone to have one mate that they were faithful to and have eternal life to enjoy that fabulous pleasure, among others.”
“Do not you enjoy eating too? You need to do it every day as well as drink. You did not need taste buds per se. I mean you could have every meal taste like manna - remember the manna provided to the Israelites in the desert? The problem? No problem, but I like, prefer, favour, and delight giving my creation what they can enjoy.”
“Man, humanity, but man specifically was created in My image. I am not fond of public flatulence and belching. But guys, some things just seem to be guy things, like the out-doors, firearms, a cigar, and beer. Men have certain things that are just appealing to them. Now, when those things get out of balance you face consequences that are a product of Satan's world.”
“That dreadful lizard, that I am going to destroy (and it will take more than a nuke) has run amok violating My precious man. I am most concerned with men finding their happiness in restraint and discipline. Then finding that perfect mate to enjoy. Presumably a perfect mate is one who does not grab at your penis as if you are some weak minded bastard without discipline. Is not one buying you with sex to take on her miserable fits, pouting, tantrums, and disobedience, after marriage, for a premarital blow job. One who is buying you needs work. If you can be bought it is unlikely you want salvation.”
“Men, do not you want a partner who literally regards your word as law? When you use her like a tool, guess what, you are two tools with no Master Builder. All you can ever accomplish together is putting the male and female ends together and lay in a drawer. And eventually that is the drawer that gets dumped out and never organized. Tools that cannot be put to use get tossed.”
“The person that never allows themselves to be a tool is not giving themselves up for quick gratification, they are drawer organizers. They get to the gym to burn off that sexual energy, or get a round of golf in, or run in the hills or on the beach for miles. They find hobbies and things to interest them and stay distracted and when they just cannot take it, they pray to resist the hottie in front of them they would love to mount. And that was a period.”
“Who do you think I am going to reward with mind blowing sex and an obedient partner? The yo-yo who cannot make a commitment to living clean and give up temporarily -- because help with finding mates I can do -- an orgasm, or the drought tolerant Brahman who is so disciplined in his activities that they pray to avoid thinking too much of even those that are available until the right person comes their way.”
“And how about that try before you buy? The truth is under mosaic law, there was a provision for someone so overcome by a virgin that they just took her. Guess what, he paid her father a wife price, married her and never, and I mean never could divorce her. If he failed to satisfy her, he was in trouble with Me. That is how important sex is.”
“Sex is the great pleasure of a marriage. That is how it was intended. That is where sex is blessed.”
“Answer Me some questions. In a prayer answer, what is the first word that comes to your mind when you think of your last date? Why that word? Do you want a partner who saves their sexual energy for you or do you want them to screw anything that pleases them if you are sick? How about a partner who dumps you if you lose your job and cannot pay up with trinkets and snacks for the head they give?”
“Do you want to worry for nine months whose children she is carrying? Do you want a partner who goes on a business trip and picks up sex partners on the road? Explain to Me what benefit comes from a person having sex with someone who is not their marriage mate? Put a price on that for Me. On a scale of one to ten, ten being priceless one being worthless what is the price of that benefit you described?”
“Now, answer this; how likely are you, with the try before you buy philosophy, to be a good marriage mate?”
“Now say a prayer and ask for help to keep your male member concealed. Ask this prayer often. You will find out which partners are not worth a plug nickel because they will be the ones demanding that you whip it out! Now, treat yourself like you were a king. I mean it, a king. That sperm of yours regard as the most valuable commodity in this world. It is precious, and only a person who would answer for your life before Me, the true God, should get a whiff or a sniff of that elixir. Got it?”